Pretend Life

As you read this, the idea that I am a character is probably for the best. An idea drawn up in the head of some bored writer with no writing career. And as I sit here, on my third day of work over the Thanksgiving holiday, so many questions have invaded my mind and absolutely procured doubt regarding all facets of my life.

While at work, I do a lot of cursive writing in random notebooks. One of those books I once named ‘The Book of Elevation’. The intent was to record all my progress as I continually curate my life. When I first started I was optimistic, but after reading how it started and reading what I now enter, it is more depressing than something that elevates my mind.

I have been working my ass off for nearly a decade to reverse the damage done from a failed marriage and very poor decisions in my young adulthood. I feel that karma has forgotten about me and that even after doing all the right things over and over again, certain goals are still unattainable. Now, I am not ungrateful for what I have been blessed with; however, there are certain things that would be great to have achieved by now that would help me feel more secure in life.

Sometimes, I ponder how much longer I can keep doing things right and waiting for my “rewards” to manifest organically. Am I the only one thinks like this?

Published by Brad Rewind

I am just a guy who has a lot to say. I have been through so much in my life and I want everyone else to have hope.

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